A new life?

I shall be starting my first day at University on Monday. I'll be resuming my position of student again! Something I had been fighting against ever since I started my Bachelors. Ironically.

Many feelings are whizzing past me when I think about going back, some are anxiety and apprehensions, even foreboding, others are excitement, motivation and even a thrill....

I am most definitely not sad I am going back though.

There were many times during this summer that I really did lose hope and even my will to do something useful in this life. I guess when everything in your entire life you've ever done was simply study, then there really is nothing left when you feel like you failed at it. I guess I took my writing more seriously when I got the offer, so that I feel I had something useful and tangible to cling onto in case the first plan doesn't go so well.

I understand what went wrong during my bachelors, even though I did better with each of the years; I procrastinated too much, manga and chatting and generally giving up from the start. This time, I won't. I can't. there's no room to muck around anymore, but there never was either, I just realised that too late.

I have been deemed as anti-social. so what.

I'm fed up with having to comply with the way things are done by the majority, I want to do things my way, for me, I no longer give a damn about trying make others happy. I'm going to be a selfish b***h this year.

Sorry.

I have also decided that I need to make my friends slowly this time. My quickly attaching nature just doesn't help me out most of the time. But I find it really painful having to stay silent... I feel like I'm being ignored.

Well, I only need to buy some highlighters and a new pencil case, then I should be sorted.