I feel...

I have a pretty important week this week, I'm pretty nervous.

I've been under quite a few different emotions for some days now. Irritation, anger, sadness, excitement even a sensation of well being.

I am irritated because I feel walked upon, a punch back, the push over.

I am angry because I know all these things and don't do anything about it. And when I do snap, I feel ashamed for upsetting the other person.

I am sad, but sometimes happy. It's strange, I can't really explain it... like feeling hot and cold at the same time.

I am excited because I will be giving an important presentation all about Manga! And I will be going on a much needed holiday next month.

I feel well because I've discovered a vast amount of beautiful land that is literally 30 feet away from my doorstep, walking through it with miss short fuse for 2 hours was wonderful and exciting. Like being a small child and being brave enough to stray from your parents far enough to start exploring.

Last night, more than anything, I was physically fatigued by my family, I'm too old to endure their selfishness, accusations and battles. I just wanted to walk away, as cowardly as that may sound, it probably would have been the best thing for all of us. I'm tired of playing the peacemaker and getting nothing for it.