Of surprises and Humiliation

I was at the grounds of my former education today. It was rather sad walking around and not expecting to bump into anyone I knew, there was a sort of loneliness to it.

I decided to enter my old building to pray, after which I went into the ladies toilets in order to get a tissue for my unpredictable nose. On my way to the tissue dispenser I was interrupted by a sudden blur and LO! It turned out to be Miss. Tooting! We were both so surprised that all we managed to say was 'AAAHH!!!' while pointing vehemently, the warmth of the moment was rather blunted as Miss. Tooting had to wash her hands, making me wait for the inevitable bone cracking hug filled with months of separation.

It was a staggered, yet wonderful surprise. We asked each other what we were doing in the specific building. I was also pleasantly surprised and rather amused that Mr. Grrr and other friends were in the very foyer that I had passed on my way to the restroom.

I got to see them and we were all happily surprised at the entrance of each others company. There was the usual 'How are you?'s a and 'How's life?'s questions I usually despise as there are only so many ways of answering them: 'I'm fine, I'm good, I'm scarred for life'. But today these questions were taken without complaint as I was genuinely happy.

I can't wait for next week where I will start my new (and improved) life as a Masters student. I just hope I'll be able to control the time I chat with them, I'll end up not working then!

My happiness was suddenly killed off by my appointment with a careers advisor. I was not apprehensive of this as I usually gain good advice and esteem on these visits. However, for some reason I was unlucky enough to be paired with Miss. Smileless, a stern woman who despised shaking my hand t our introduction or even sitting next to me during our meting. The detestable creature sat across from me and took her time assessing documents, a forged aura of superiority clouded her s she embarked on how 'poor' my English was (First time I ever felt like a freshy), how un-evidenced my skills were amongst other shortcomings. She even went so far as to accuse me of copying my work from someone else.

I had enough pride to have allowed a severe look of disgust on my face when she said this. Making her loose eye contact.

Living a life where I come across this sort of treatment all the time made me acquire some immunity to her 'civil' emotional beatings. However, I was very hurt. I believed there could have been better ways she could have portrayed her points. The entire meeting felt like I was back at school, being told off for homework I hadn't done, how this would affect my entire life and how I was doomed for failure.

I felt very insecure in that room with her, as though any armour I had was stripped away, leaving all humiliation exposed. It was very difficult for me to think 'this is for my own good, take on board what she has to say and focus on positivity'. It was so hard that my thoughts quickly changed to 'lets just get out of here'.

Looking back, she seemed very distrustful as she was the one who was late and made it sound like it was my fault for reducing the meeting from 20 to 15 minutes. She smiled once, that was when I left the room, as though giving me a vote of confidence. She even made it out as though I was supposed to have followed her step by step instructions in a leaflet I had never known she had written.

The meeting to me was a disaster, I came out feeling like an incompetent fool whose only purpose in life, is to try and fail, concurrently. I doubt this is the real job of a careers advisory service, aren't they supposed to guide and support you? Rather than step on and pulverise you?

Maybe I should have gone when I had more esteem or confidence, I'm fully aware that is what I vastly lack, and I guess meeting Miss. Smileless was a sensitive thing for my unconfident nature.

The great things about friends, is that they soak up your misfortunes without any damage to themselves and leave you feeling blissful again. That's why I'm very grateful for Miss. Tooting and Mr. Grr being there today. I would've remained on the verge of tears for the rest of the day otherwise.

A day to remember

Yesterday I spent an enjoyable time with my friends, I'd like to not spill their names out, so I'll call one of them Miss. Hiiiiii and the other Miss. Tooting :D I think more original names could be made but I simply can't think of any at the moment.

So I was devestated to say the least, when I found out that Miss. Hiiiiii would be joining myself and Miss. Tooting, 'she's going to be 3 hours late!' was what I exclaimed over the phone to Miss. Tooting, she didn't sound phased, but when I saw her the following day at Tooting Broadway station, she gave me a sort of reprimand and challenged my 'friend' material. I was then pleasently shocked to find that Miss. Hiiiiii had actually arrived only 10 minutes late!!!!!! A NEW WORLD RECORD HAS BEEN BROKEN! Miss. Hiiiiii has the capacity to be only 10 minutes late!!!! CELEBRATE PPL!!!!! I have a new found trust in Miss. Hiiiiii's punctuality. I feel 3000 steps closer to her.

But I really am glad Miss. Hiiiiii turned up, I'm even happier that she came on time! We ate hallal Italian food (I had a yummy pasta with spinach and prawns) and we talked and talked an talked I think we were there for like 2 and a half hours. Most of it was 'networking' and the other was 'talking shit' as Miss. Tooting eloquently described it. In fact alot of what we were talking about was shit. Like how Rodick (sp?) the tennis player sticks his bum out when he serves, or the debate we had about all adult films having sex in them, and other crap that I can't even remember.

I showed them my rough sketches for the manga I intend to finish drawing, and I was half disappointed half amused when I saw the fall in expression on Miss. Hiiiii's face, she seemed to be jealous that I had drawn other characters with sexy faces, while I had drawn her like a chav. I'm contemplating changing her character profile now, but I have faith that it will go well in the manga, so I'm also hesistant to change it.

Sadly Miss. Tooting had to seperate from us as she was too much in a hurry to floss her teeth (its unfair on her to explain this extraordinary motion of hers, but she doesn't read my blog, so I'll stay quiet) *evil grin*

As the trio had turned into a duo, I took Miss. Hiiiiii with me to my local park. We firstly went on this bad ass circular sort of swing that can fit two or three people perhaps, it was big enough to lie down on, so we did, and faced the sky as the swing moved, it was really peaceful. Miss. Hiiiii was too scared to get off of it actually. Then we moved to the swings, where I made the realisation that I was too fat to fit on the seat. Well, I managed to get into the seat, but now I'm slightly bruised. It was so fun swinging on the swings endlessly with Miss. Hiiiiii, it was a childhood act that I had never re-enacted with any of my university friends before. So it was really fun.

Thank you to Miss. Tooting and Miss. Hiiiiii for a wonderful afternoon, I'll never forget it!