Compassion: Innate or taught?

I feel terrible, I know I re-opened this blog on a positive note, but what happenned to me today has widned my eyes to how truly selfish I can be.

A woman on the train today collapsed from what looked like epilepsy, it could have been cataplexy but I doubt she was experiencing a strong enough emotion to have experienced it at the time. Anyway, her muscles froze (more technically, her muscle tone dropped) and her eyes were wide open, I don't think I'll ever forget her eyes, wide as though in shock and unmoving as though dead...

It was really quite horrific.

The gentleman around her tried to help her and then she fell to the floor, they then tried carrying her off the train... This is where my selfishness came in. I was directly behind the group of men and sick woman and the train had come to a stop at my destination and as you can imagine they were rather slow... so slow that I was woried the train doors would close before I could get off. So vast was my anxiety for myself that I deliberately brushed past the group.

When my feet were on unmoving ground I was thoroughly mortified in shame... did I have no human compassion? No instinct to help those in immediate danger? No recognition of an emergency? I was so calm throughout the whole thing that it unnerved me. In fact, I was shaking after the whole thing had happenned because I was so shocked at myself. I didn't offer to help and didn't hang around to see if she was okay like the hero men who did. I just carried on walking to the next platform. I did go to a staff member and tell him the situation. But I was still very upset at myself.

This got me thinking all the way home of how I should be more compassionate in the future should another situation arise. But... how can you learn compassion? Is it even a taught material? What makes a person compassionate and caring? Is it because their parents taught them how, or was it something that was genetically installed? Or something else entirely?

In the end.. I feel rather cold hearted, the good bit I suppose is that I don't like being cold hearted at all. 

I'm Baaack!!!

Hello world, I've been feeling guilty at how I seem to have completely abandoned this precious space of written freedom. Sorry, I've had loads of things happen to me in the past 8 months which rendered me too busy to have time for fanciful writing, this should really be a valid excuse but I know its not... sigh. I thought to check up on my blog and realised that there was a new user interface, which probably isn't new but been hidden from my eyes for months.

Anyway, I discovered something called page views (I think) and I can't believe that I actually have some people out there that look over at my blog! I always thought that it was invisible to the world... weird. So I have decided to once again be faithful to my blog and actually dedicate some time to it to make it readable again so that it may be somewhat useful for whoever reads it. I'll start with a quick summery of my life: I am no longer a student and I am no longer fat! Nor heading for obesity as my doctor had once threatened against me.. I am a working woman! Complete with a monthly salary and everything. I work at a hospital helping and diagnosing people with sleeping disorders, usually with breathing related disorders, which hardly has any neuroscience in there but I hope one day I can return to that field.

I am no longer obsessed with Manga, this is both sad and relieving for me, I have come to realise that was officially addicted to the stuff and I'll write more about that later, but now I can take a breath of fresh air and say that I have rehabilitated myself and can move on in life. The sad part is I miss out on manga and don't read barely as much as I used to. For this rite of passage that I have crossed I have decided to take down my list of manga from my blog to signify that it no longer encompasses who I am. I will check in soon and write more :D

Egypt - Day 1

I'm on a computer!!! In Egypt! I don't usually have this privalegde when on holiday. Anyway, there isn't much to report about except the flight and the food and the place I'm staying in.. so I'll get down to it:

1. The Flight

We woke at 2.20, got ready by 3.45, I think I must've had little over an hours sleep what with the excitement one usually feels before a flight. Funny thing is, at 4.30 I was with my family at heathrow waiting for about an hour to check in with the luggage... that wasn't so exciting. anyway, it happened and there was a brief goodbye to our parents before we shuffled to the security desk which checks our shoes, liquid bottles and hand-luggage. The first flight to rome (for our transit) was remarkably slow even though it was only a two hour flight, I was so exhausted that i tried to sleep but couldn't get into a comfortable enough position, I can't sleep on chairs :(

We got to rome, it was hot, not so hot that it was unbearable, but hot non-theless, it was 28 degrees. we walked around for a while killing time inside the airport before we had to wait with.. shockingly... other egyptians to board the plane. weird thing is they take you on a bus and transport you to the plane, the stupid driver had no-idea where he needed to go and i was so afraid we were about to head off a plane on a runway. Anyway, the second flight to cairo was remarkably quick as I an Miss. Short fuse played connect four... on PAPER! We are soo cool! (hehehehe). we ate minimalistic aeroplane food and landed after a comfotable snooz. The landiing was pretty crap as the plane hit the ground really suddenly and the next thing I know, we're moving really really fast, so fast that it's scary.

2. The Place

We met our dad's friend and he took us to the youth hostel thingy we're staying, it belongs to the government so it's actually alot nice than what I thought it would be.

3. The food
Not what i expected, I.e we had pasta for dinner.. at like 9! but non-the less I'm not complaining, it wasn't amazing like pasta at Zizzi's or anything, but it was okay.

Till the next time I get on a computer!

Take off!

Right.. so, I'm going on holiday this Monday... Yeah, sorry for not telling anyone. I don't know why but I find myself really un-communicative about those sorts of things. So... I will be going away for two weeks! Although how on earth I could possibly relax about it all is beyond me considering the immense heat of the summer weather in the paticular geographical location I'm going to. I'll post "regular" updates about the things I've done, the places I've seen and the people I meet over there.

So yeah... end of post.... the end.

Airplanes

I really like this song. I'm actually just really liking BOB at the moment. I hope he continues to make good music :D